They come and go

washing over me

and over me

and over me.

Less like a gentle, rolling wave on a bright,cloudless day

and more like those that come with the storm on a dark, ominous night

crashing white and violent into the shore of my mind.

Each time a little clearer

a little bolder

a little louder.

Scaring me.

Pushing me under.

Paralyzing me with each crash.

They attack when my back is turned

as I rush to the shore

but can’t quite escape their wrath.

I cling to all that is good

hoping that will be enough to sustain me

and wait for the waves of thought to subside.

I’ve barely caught my breath






I’m at their mercy once again and

hating that I have no control.

I hope that they do not take me over

because I do not know what would happen.

But, I do know what would happen,

and that is what scares me most.

I would cease to exist,

overtaken by the wave

at the mercy of its power and persistence.

No longer here nor there

but rather washed away at sea.



Reckless Abandon


I do not know

what to believe.

I cannot reconcile

between what it says

and what is done.

I wonder if He really is the one.

What makes it right

and the others wrong?

Why must it be one,

and why not all the others?

I ask for help,

yet denied it is my request.

I turn to the next.

And, I am brought in

to be loved and cherished

to be challenged and valued

to be taught and heard

to be respected.

From you I have learned

that I and all have worth

that openness and acceptance

are imperative for social change.

I have felt that I can do anything,

but only once my faith was abandoned.

So, it was abandoned, and I can do anything.

Reckless abandon takes a new meaning.

I know who I am and who you are.

For you are far more open than they ever were.

I know your hopes and fears

your past and your present.

You are real and tangible.

You have championed me, and I will never forget.

With reckless abandon,

I run into uncharted territory

and hope.