Of this I am sure


I am here, but I am overwhelmed.

I feel so much emotion. I am aware of a wrestling inside of me that seems to never cease. I am exhausted on more than a physical level. It is as if my soul is tired. As if the very core of who I am is constantly in motion. I feel as if I that core has been turned upside down and now I am left to revise and rearrange. I wonder who it is that I am and what it is that I stand for. I have new identities that I am struggling to embrace and which invoke fear and discomfort, and I have previous identities that I am attempting to shed but am clinging to solely because they are familiar.

So much of who I am is influx, and it is exhausting and overwhelming me. How can I tell you who I am if I am not even sure myself?


There are only a few things that I am sure of:

I love her. She is the light of my life. I think of her when I fall asleep and as soon as I awake. I miss her so much that it physically hurts. She is the best part of my day every single day, and I want to spend every second with her. She is my support, my encourager, my voice of reason, my confidant, my everything. She is my love, and I would be lost without her.

I am where I am supposed to be. I am learning and growing more than I thought possible, and I am surrounded by like-minded people who are striving to make the world a better place. I am honored to be with them and learn from them.

I miss my people. I feel so lonely without my friends and mentors around. I am longing for that support system and severely missing my community that loves me and challenges me. They understand me, and I miss being with people who know me. I so wish they were here with me. I need them.


I am here, and I am learning and changing each day.


My Love



I saw us for the first time,

and it took my breath away.

I knew then that

you were my love.

I could not deny it,

neither did I want to.

I want the world to know

that it is you.

But, they can’t know.

Fear holds me back,

making me doubt.

Not you,

but them.

Those who will disown,



Because you happen to be my love.

You care for me,

treat me well,

covet time with me,

speak beautiful words.

However, you are also a female.

And, somehow, that becomes

all that they see.

That you and I happen to be

of the same sex.

A love deemed a sin,

something to be ashamed of.

But, you are beautiful and kind,

and you are mine.

I want to show you to the world,

to tell them all what we have.

But, I cannot.

My heart aches because it is both

full of love and

full of fear.

Because you are my love.

My love.

My love.