I’m afraid that I have lost myself.
For I play so many roles
that I have forgotten which one came naturally.
For those concerned with my soul:
I am straight.
I am whole.
I am made clean.
I am a Christian through and through.
Church on Sunday,
and lies, lies, lies.
For those concerned with my sexuality:
I am bisexual so
focus on the part that is heteronormative.
Pretend that I am in a phase,
that my girlfriend is someone to have fun with.
Blame it on her.
I know it’s easier for you to swallow that than the biological truth.
I love both.
Men and women.
For it does not matter to me what gender they are
rather if they are the person I want to be with forever.
Love is love,
but love is not loved.
For those concerned with my mental health:
I will not make you uncomfortable
with talk of anxiety and medication.
I will try to pray it away.
I will exercise more.
I will hand it over to the holy spirit.
I will cease to suffer from this imaginary ailment.
Please, tell me that it doesn’t exist,
for at least you will sleep well at night.
For those concerned about my education:
I know I am not supported by you.
this I will figure out on my own.
I will achieve my dream,
and you will take credit.
You will be proud.
It’s not fair to reap the benefits
when you have not provided support in the process.
Tell me I’m wasting my time.
Tell me that psychology isn’t a science.
Then post on Facebook about how proud you are.
I want your friends to think you
have had something to do with my success.
But, it will not be you I thank.
For those concerned with my age:
Talk to my mom.
and not Christian.
and not straight.
and not accepted.
I am living as I know how,
and I no longer wish to play a role for you.