Not Enough

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I am not enough for you.

You, my love

my light

my best friend

my confidant

my laughter.

I am not enough.

For you wish for something else

something I am not

and can never be.

You wish for him,

any him

seeking pleasure outside of me.

You want what I can’t give

and I am sorry, my love.

 

But, you also want me.

How can you think its okay

to only want a piece of me?

Knowing full well you need

something else

someone else.

For all this time,

I was never enough,

and am afraid I never will be.

You say you can’t lose me,

and you say you need more.

I cannot make sense

of those two sentiments

side by side

yet conflicting entirely.

You fucking knew

you knew all along

that this is me.

I cannot hide that I lack

the one thing you need.

You hold onto me

dragging me along

as you figure out what it is

that you want.

It’s me.

It’s him.

It’s both.

 

I want to say

Please, let it be me!

I also think,

I know it cannot be.

I cannot stop you from

happiness

fulfillment

love

even if it is not with me.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

And it means that I might not be able to have you.

For, I am not enough,

and you deserve the world.

 

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