You

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Less than one day,

and I miss you.

I close my eyes

and see your face,

the way you smile,

smirking ever so slightly

the light in your eyes

when you look at me as if

I am all you will need

the curve of your lips

as they are about to meet mine.

I block out the sounds of the world

and hear your voice,

your laughter

the quick succession of words

flowing from you

as you share the details of your life

the off-key singing that

I would give anything to hear right now

the raspy voice you have in the morning

when you have just woken up

and roll over to look at me.

I can feel your body

pushed against mine

fitting as if it was always meant to be there

warmth radiating from you

as you pull me closer

the weight of your hand in mine

reminding me that I am safe

the snug feeling of being wrapped in your arms

our bodies seeming to be one

as you lay with me.

It has been less than one day,

and I am lost without you.

 

Not Enough

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I am not enough for you.

You, my love

my light

my best friend

my confidant

my laughter.

I am not enough.

For you wish for something else

something I am not

and can never be.

You wish for him,

any him

seeking pleasure outside of me.

You want what I can’t give

and I am sorry, my love.

 

But, you also want me.

How can you think its okay

to only want a piece of me?

Knowing full well you need

something else

someone else.

For all this time,

I was never enough,

and am afraid I never will be.

You say you can’t lose me,

and you say you need more.

I cannot make sense

of those two sentiments

side by side

yet conflicting entirely.

You fucking knew

you knew all along

that this is me.

I cannot hide that I lack

the one thing you need.

You hold onto me

dragging me along

as you figure out what it is

that you want.

It’s me.

It’s him.

It’s both.

 

I want to say

Please, let it be me!

I also think,

I know it cannot be.

I cannot stop you from

happiness

fulfillment

love

even if it is not with me.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

And it means that I might not be able to have you.

For, I am not enough,

and you deserve the world.