Immediately

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You pulled me in for one last kiss

that turned into five more kisses.

My heart pounded in my chest

as I held you close for one last moment.

I hold your face in my hands,

soaking in everything about you.

“Don’t miss me too much.”

“No promises.”

“Don’t miss me too much.”

“I already do.”

Then, you pull away,

and

immediately,

I missed you.

Known

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You all saw a part of me

A part that isn’t well known

A part that is painful, raw, emotional

It’s a story

My story

Woven with rejection and lost

Sprinkled with happiness and satisfaction

Based on a knowledge

Of who I am and want to be

And a lack of knowledge from those closest

A family that doesn’t know

Who can’t know

It isn’t fair

But it’s what it is

That’s just the facts

The harder part comes later

When you see me

Full of contradictions

Not fully known

But fully here

Aware of what I have lost

Aware of what I have gained

Aware of the pain of knowing

You may say courageous, strong, resilient

I may say perseverant

Or I may say nothing

Words don’t do it justice

For I can’t describe it

Except to say

I felt more known today.

There

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They say you weren’t right for me,

but I know the truth.

You were completely wrong,

but you fit

in a way that I couldn’t have imagined.

You filled the spots where I was empty

and made me feel whole.

But, I lost myself there.

There with you.

I became more of you

and less of me,

and

I lost myself there.

I lost myself there.

 

You

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Less than one day,

and I miss you.

I close my eyes

and see your face,

the way you smile,

smirking ever so slightly

the light in your eyes

when you look at me as if

I am all you will need

the curve of your lips

as they are about to meet mine.

I block out the sounds of the world

and hear your voice,

your laughter

the quick succession of words

flowing from you

as you share the details of your life

the off-key singing that

I would give anything to hear right now

the raspy voice you have in the morning

when you have just woken up

and roll over to look at me.

I can feel your body

pushed against mine

fitting as if it was always meant to be there

warmth radiating from you

as you pull me closer

the weight of your hand in mine

reminding me that I am safe

the snug feeling of being wrapped in your arms

our bodies seeming to be one

as you lay with me.

It has been less than one day,

and I am lost without you.